If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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