i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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