girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
