wat bout pragnant strippers??
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
