...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
