I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
