Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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