i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
