I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
