i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Are my feet made of real feet?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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