When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
