there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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