I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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