you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize