i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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