HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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