I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
