The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
