I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
