omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
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