Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
