i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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