I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
