I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
