She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
