oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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