any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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