I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
