I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you