so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?