i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
