handjob tips. give me some.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
