My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
