ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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