no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
