dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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