Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to make out with him forever
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You ruined the universe
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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