Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
