I never want to see another naked old woman again.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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