Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
