you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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