from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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