your thong is hanging out like whoa
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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