i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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