God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
