After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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