I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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