The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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