I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
