Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
