I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
