Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
