There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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