I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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