All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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