p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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