White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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