he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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