I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
